During the Metoo campaign a lot of unhealthy and unconscious sexual behavior came to light. When a bodyworker works from the head instead of the heart, when this person does not create a safe space, is not attuned to the recipient, does not respect his or her limits and if this person is actually ‘taking’ instead of giving, then body work is not done well. In the best case, just nothing happens for the receiver. In the worst case, new trauma is inflicted on someone. It is therefore of great importance that someone in this field takes due care.
Without a sense of security, a client cannot relax and no healing can take place. A client should feel at all times: it’s okay here, I’m okay, my masseur is okay and everything that happens is okay. That is why I think it is important to explain here how I ensure that you will feel safe at all times and how I create a safe space. I will respect your limits at all times and discuss these with you in advance. From this point of view, as a giver I work with my clothes on. I use the Wheel of Consent from Betty Martin, this offers a nice framework to explore your limits.
I want my clients to feel empowered to create their own safety during their first steps on the path of bodywork, and I want to help them with that. The path of tantra and bodywork is an insanely beautiful path to walk, but how do you do that if you have trauma in your body and do not know your own limits well? The solution does not lie in finding a person who can fix you, the solution lies within you. First make sure that you feel safe with yourself. I can help you with this by creating a safe space so that you can be your own safe person.
If you are going to walk this path, you will also have to take steps. Start with small steps. The first step is to get in touch with your body again. Your body contains a lot of wisdom and is a compass to everything you do. We have learned to live in our heads and to be guided by our brains. So the first step is to listen to the body again. When you become aware of the things that your body tells you, you can also respond to it. You can communicate with your body. If you feel a contraction, listen. Respond to it. Breathe into it. By listening to your body you feel safer in your body, the confidence that you may have lost in your body can be rebuilt. Here too, small steps.
Now that you feel safe with yourself, you can gradually expand your comfort zone.
Slow down. It’s easy to go too fast, especially if you like something. Learning more, faster, we always want more. A keyword in this process is delay. The more you slow down, the more you feel.
It is also important to find your voice. Daring to say what you want is quite a challenge. Practice standing up for yourself and saying what you want. This alone can be mega liberating.
Now that you have found safety within yourself, it is important to create this within a session. Think in advance what you want from this session. Think in advance what you need, what you do not want and whether you have any questions. Together we come up with a safe word and practice this in advance.
Setting rules and limits may sound restrictive, but it is super empowering. If you know where your limits are, you can completely relax in the playing field that you have created.
During a good dearmouring session you can experience an insanely beautiful power within yourself, do not attribute this power to me. I create the safe setting, but that power is in yourself.
And last: Don’t have a goal that you want to achieve. Tantra is so much more than physical or sexual pleasure. It is a way of life. Your connection with the divine. Open yourself, expand yourself, empower yourself and love yourself.
In the process that I described above I lovingly guide you step by step. For this I have put together a process of 7 steps, which will be a life changing program for you.
- Introduction to body scan
- Body poetry
- Tantric dearmouring
- Tantric dearmouring deep
- Tantric massage
- Orgasmic meditation massage
This process could, for example, take place in 10 sessions. But everyone is different, and we adjust the route to your pace. Price in consultation.
I hold an intake interview and body check session in advance, so that you can experience what my working method is and whether this fits in with your process.
Make sure you arrive on time for your session and if you are unexpectedly delayed, please let me know. If you are too early, send me a text to check if the massage before you is already finished. If I don’t answer the phone, please don’t ring the door bell out of respect for the client before you.