If you are going to walk this path, you will also have to take steps. Start with small steps. The first step is to get in touch with your body again. Your body contains a lot of wisdom and is a compass to everything you do. We have learned to live in our heads and to be guided by our brains. So the first step is to listen to the body again. When you become aware of the things that your body tells you, you can also respond to it. You can communicate with your body. If you feel a contraction, listen. Respond to it. Breathe into it. By listening to your body you feel safer in your body, the confidence that you may have lost in your body can be rebuilt. Here too, small steps.
Now that you feel safe with yourself, you can gradually expand your comfort zone.
Slow down. It’s easy to go too fast, especially if you like something. Learning more, faster, we always want more. A keyword in this process is delay. The more you slow down, the more you feel.
It is also important to find your voice. Daring to say what you want is quite a challenge. Practice standing up for yourself and saying what you want. This alone can be mega liberating.
Now that you have found safety within yourself, it is important to create this within a session. Think in advance what you want from this session. Think in advance what you need, what you do not want and whether you have any questions. Together we come up with a safe word and practice this in advance.
Setting rules and limits may sound restrictive, but it is super empowering. If you know where your limits are, you can completely relax in the playing field that you have created.
During a good dearmouring session you can experience an insanely beautiful power within yourself, do not attribute this power to me. I create the safe setting, but that power is in yourself.
And last: Don’t have a goal that you want to achieve. Tantra is so much more than physical or sexual pleasure. It is a way of life. Your connection with the divine. Open yourself, expand yourself, empower yourself and love yourself.